In Good Shape


Out with the new. In with the old.

So, something happened to me today that sent shivers down my spine.  Something so horrible I couldn’t even bring myself to tell my family.  I was left all alone, in the dark, all by myself.

Did I say I was alone?

And in the dark?

That’s cause the light bulb in the lamp on my night stand went out!

I raced to my secret stash, eager to see if I had another bulb to fit my needs.  See…I read by that bulb, pretty much the only bulb I do read by, and because I’m a picky bastard, I want that light, and pretty much ONLY that light, to be easy on my eyes.

It has to be incandescent.

And it has to be 40 watts.

Any more and it’s too bright and I get a headache.  Any less and, well, it’s the same as being dark; I can’t see.

So I NEED 40 watt incandescent bulbs.  But only once in awhile.

And that’s why I was scared, because I couldn’t remember how many I had left.  And it’s a big deal cause, well, cause:

Come January 1, 2011, California will begin phasing out the legal sale and purchase of 100-watt incandescent light bulbs.

…the rest of the country will face the same issue starting in 2012, as per the Energy Independence and Security Act, which phases out the use of traditional light bulbs between 40 watts and 150 watts over a two-year period.

What the WHAT?

That Nanny Statist son of a gun Obama, just another instance of a regulation that……huh?  What?  Come again?

Due to federal legislation proudly signed by George W. Bush in 2007….

Damn it.

Anyway, I think I’m in good shape.  When I counted how many 40 watt light bulbs I had in storage, I counted 150 of ’em.  I go through about 2 a year–so I’m stocked until I’m 117.

However, if you consider that I expect to live until 85, I’ll need 43 years worth, or 86 bulbs.  If my kids each live until THEY are 95, they’ll need…let’s see…87 and 90 years worth a piece.  THAT is 354 bulbs.  Plus the 86 I need means I’m actually SHORT 290 bulbs.

Can you say Home Depot?

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